Gary Chapman, Ph.D., is a well-known marriage counselor who came up with the 5 Love Languages to help couples better love each other. Love languages are simply preferences for how we show and receive love. These are possibly the easiest qualities to learn about yourself and others. Using love languages is highly effective in making others feel more fully loved and appreciated.
5 Love Languages
Words of Affirmation
If you have this love language, compliments, verbal encouragement, and kind words go a long way for you. It is important for you to be given credit and praise where it is due. Harsh words also deeply affect you and can really bring you down.
Quality Time
If you have this love language, undivided attention is very important to you. It is not about the amount of time you are given, but rather knowing that whoever you’re with is fully present. Being ignored or having someone constantly flake on plans can really hurt you, because they are making you feel like you are not a priority.
Gifts
If you have this love language, receiving thoughtful gifts are meaningful to you because they are a visual symbol of love. It is something tangible that you can look at and be reminded that someone was thinking about you and cares about you. When someone doesn’t appreciate a gift you gave them or doesn’t bring you back a gift from a trip, it may make you feel uncared for.
Acts of Service
If this is your love language, actions are the most effective way for others to show you love. These acts are done willingly because the other person is thinking of a way to help ease your burdens. You don’t want to force anyone to do anything for you, because then it is not loving. When you are not helped with chores, or other daily activities, it can make you feel like you are not being cared for and have to do it all on your own.
Physical Touch
If this is your love language, you feel a rush of endorphins every time someone you care about gives you a hug or endearingly rubs your back. Physical touch does not have to be sexual. You feel connected to another person when they place a hand on your shoulder to remind you they are near and here for you. Having your hand pushed away or never being touched at all can feel like the biggest rejection.
Everyone has all love languages to a degree, but we tend to have a primary and secondary that most affects the way we show and receive love. Love languages are ranked in importance, so there will inevitably be ones that are not very important to us. Conflicts can arise when the love language least important to you is someone else’s most important love language. This is why it is important to be versed in what each of the love languages are and how they can improve your lives and your loved ones.
The Human Connection 