Trouble Making Decisions? Growing as an ISFP

Can You Relate?

There are certain kinds of people I’m just drawn to (and I’m not the only one). They’re the charming, wear-your-heart-on-your-sleeve kind of people. They’re so open, and they make you feel so special when you’re around them.

When I worked as a server in a restaurant, there was this one guy who would walk into the back kitchen where most of the servers would be waiting for food, and he would just stand at the door and say hello to everyone. It wasn’t the preppy upbeat kind of hello. It was like he was taking the moment to acknowledge all of us, and I swear I would see all the girls swoon.

This guy was well-liked. He started as a host trying to authentically get to know all the staff. When he became a busser, he used to roll silverware with me as he listened to all my boy trouble (I always had so much). This was the kind of thing he did for everyone, but that still felt special anyway.

When we became better friends, what I loved most about him was the way he could absorb a moment. He was super in touch with his emotions, not having any problem crying when he thought something was beautiful or sad. He was so expressive and warm in a very personal way.

I may talk about him lovingly because he was an ISFP, and ISFPs are very easy to love. They are unique and charming and always looking for adventure.

How to Know if You’re an ISFP

I’ve known a few ISFPs, which isn’t a surprise seeing as how they are the fourth most common Myers-Briggs type. Another ISFP friend I’ve had for years went to school to study film and try to get into the entertainment industry. She’s talented at filming, directing, and acting, which isn’t a surprise because ISFPs are known for their creativity.

If you’re wondering if you’re an ISFP, the first thing I should note is that you probably hate the idea of categories in the first place. ISFPs are free spirits who are constantly rediscovering themselves. So you may think categories don’t fit you. Or if you’re open-minded about such things, then maybe you believe you’re more fluid about what type you are.

The worst thought for you is feeling confined to only being one thing.

Like the friends I’ve mentioned, if you’re an ISFP, you are sensitive and charming. You probably make friends easily wherever you go. Those around you appreciate you because you are fun and easy-going.

You go with the flow and struggle with planning for the future. It’s not that you don’t have dreams or aspirations, you just love living in the moment.

Tomorrow will always be there, but right now is temporary.

How to Grow as an ISFP

Just to point out, it is completely okay to change your mind about anything, but I think ISFPs do it notoriously well.

If you’re an ISFP, you can be incredibly indecisive. Combine this with your ability to be flexible and adaptable, and then you just go wherever the wind takes you. You may not like to think about this, but you are easily swayed to different directions.

This stems from underestimating yourself too much. You’re probably constantly second-guessing yourself or unsure if you’re even making the right decision, so it’s easier to go along with someone else’s thoughts and decisions.

You really are a selfless person, but you also suppress your own emotions and needs. This also contributes to your indecisiveness. You want to put others first, but that doesn’t mean you have to come second. It’s important to recognize how you feel and know that your needs are just as important as everyone else’s.

It’s hard to stick to a decision when you’re unsure. Most ISFPs I have known can stick to a decision one minute, and then a new one the next minute.

I admire the ISFP’s open-mindedness, but I think it’s important to believe in your own decisions. I love that ISFPs are always ready to listen to a new side. However, listen to your own side too. What is it that you think and feel? Where do you really stand on this decision?

Digging Deeper

After childhood and through early adulthood, ISFPs become more of observant of the world around them. You learned to understand the world through what you could physically interact with. You wanted to play games rather than sit and read. You got restless easily and wanted to tangibly see what the world had to offer with your own experiences.

If you didn’t get the opportunity to explore the world in this way, or were held back in some way, then you may not have felt confident gathering enough information about the world to make your own informed decisions.

The film friend I mentioned earlier was held back when we were in high school. With a sick mom and as the oldest child, she wasn’t able to get out enough. I could tell that though she had this passion to live and explore, she was also scared and doubted herself. It took many years of her own exploration and freedom to be more confident in herself. She spent years in between feeling more comfortable relying on others (particularly significant others) to validate or support her decisions.

If you’re an ISFP, surround yourself with people who encourage you and allow you to be yourself. You are a very sensitive type, so kindness or disapproval from others will go a long way for you.

Be kind and encouraging to yourself as well. Affirmations can be very helpful for you, as well as self-help books. Whenever you can’t seem to stick to a decision, know that it’s normal. Be grateful for your open-mindedness, but also explore where you truly stand.